Do you think you're helping? No you're not. I know you're better than me at everything, but don't ignore me and put me in the corner like I'm some nut job hungry for attention. Cuz I'm a person.

I cant show how I'm mad at you because I consider you a friend (that, and I'm not really good at confrontation). I won't confront you. I'm wishing silently that you realize that you make me feel bad and I don't like it. Sometimes it's okay, but my patience is running out for this kind of crap that you do. But I can't quit.

I am clingy, I know that. I crave attention, yes. I wish you'd realize that I need you sometimes. I just want you to be there, genuinely interested. I'm not expecting solutions, I just expect you to be there. That's not hard is it? I guess it is for you.

Sometimes I question myself if I'm just trying too hard to be in your life. Am I really your friend or am I just a charity case that you happened to run into. You did me a HUGE favor, you accepted me for who I am. I'm just trying to be a good friend and I'm just trying to return the favor. But sometimes you just shoo me away. I don't get it. 
I'm really considering to just drop all my efforts. But when I do, it will be the end of us, and I don't want that to happen because I WANT TO BE A PART OF YOUR LIFE. I don't know why. Like Gretchen Weiners, I'd rather be in the Plastics, hating life, than not being in it at all.

But I'm becoming miserable and pathetic and I don't really know what to do now. :( I'm freaking out. I'd tell this to you but you'll just bitch out in my face.

:(

Normally, I'm a passive person. I let arguments slide for the reason that I don't really care if I win or not. I can't count the number of times where I want to hit myself with a boulder for being such a doormat. I don't like fights, so I just succumb to whatever bad things they say to me. If you know me, I don't fight or argue much. I don't care if I lose because I hate conflict. 

But, I have snapped out of this crazy habit of mine. I have realized that argument isn't necessarily bad, especially if it makes you look like a fool. I don't care if I'm being mean; if you insult me or if you make me feel bad, I'll make it a point to tell it to your face that you can't make me feel bad without my permission. 

If you don't like me, then thats your fucking problem. I don't care if you think I'm this or that. I don't care if you bitch about me in secret, I don't care if you are just giving me bullshit. That's your problem now. I'm just being myself, and I'm not doing anything wrong.

If you think you can make me feel bad, then you're wrong. Swim in your little elitist bubble, for all I care. I'll just mind my own business. As long as I know that I'm doing nothing wrong, then I don't care. I'm not going to sit here and cry. I'm going to do something about it now. You think I can't do that? Well, lets just see shall we?

Finally, I just want to ask you one simple question: maganda ka? 

[HELLO! I'm resurrecting my Livejournal. I'm restarting things,by being feisty.]

Hello. I don't think I can maintain this blog for the moment. I wasn't really born to write anyway. Microblogging is more fun for me anyway. Haha.

But I will not delete this account. The friends feature is too convenient. XP

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. WTH ANGELINA JOLIE, THE PAPARAZZI WORKS 360 DEGREES.

Totally random.

Kamusta naman at 5:52AM na and yes, I'm still up. I just slept for one freaking hour. Bakit nga ba? Hahaha.

I'm currently in the AJMA Leadership Summit 2009. We have a thing that my group stayed up until 3AM. So why am I here? Apparently I can't sleep, literally and figuratively. Let's just leave it at that. :P Continuing the 8 happy things...:

1. NSTP Recollection -- it was really a renewal of my commitment to God. Haha
2. Having breakfast with the NSTP group
3. Commuting from Ateneo to Makati with Celina!
4. Leadership summit!
5. The dare wherein you have to get into a hula hoop suspended in the air without touching it. Haha labo. The key is teamwork.
6. Staying up late, as in sobrang late di na ako makatulog.
7. Composing a very good project
8. Meeting a million new people.

Yun lang naman. Hope you're okay. As for me? Well, don't ask. Hahaha.